The Invitational Week 181: Bumptious Behavior
Write new dialogue for some more classic ‘Speed Bump’ cartoons. Plus winning poems featuring ‘hwyl’ and other spelling bee words.
Pat Myers and gene weingarten
Jun 18, 2026




This week’s Invitational contest: Fill in the word balloon for this or the seven other “Speed Bump” cartoons below.
Hello. Today, we wheel in the Wayback Machine, which goes all the way back to March. That’s when we permanently inverted the format of The Invitational by beginning with the results of the old contest, and only afterward presenting the new one. Today, just this once, we are reverting to the old format because we feel we cannot in good conscience make you wait for the cartoons.

For Invitational Week 181: Provide text for the word balloons for any (or all) of the old “Speed Bump” cartoons labeled A through H. Each originally had words in it, of course. For this contest, we deleted those.

Be sure to see the instructions for Week 181 way down the page beneath this week’s poems.

This week’s winner gets a 2027 “Speed Bump” daily calendar — signed by cartoonist Dave Coverly himself. Just as he did last time, Dave will help us judge the contest. Runners-up get autographed fake money featuring the Czar or Empress, in one of eight nifty designs. Honorable mentions get bupkis, except for a personal email from the E, plus the Fir Stink for First Ink for First Offenders.


(To enter the cartoon contest, see the directions below the poems.)

A Ha-Bee of Ours: Spelling bee poems from Week 179
In Invitational Week 179 we asked you to choose one of the hundreds of obscure words from this year’s National Spelling Bee and use it in a funny poem or joke.

Third runner-up:
Tongkang, a type of light boat or junk used in Southeast Asia
I’m in trouble. My fortunes have sunk.
I’ve been canned from my job, like a punk.
How’d I get in this fix?
Had a tongkang, took pix
And said, “Boss! Let me show you my junk.”
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Second runner-up:
Tangalung, a Malayan civet cat
Let’s hear it for the tangalung (Malayan civet cat);
He’s fond of coffee cherries and devours them — like that!
But (just like us) he has to poop and leaves some beans behind;
The locals then collect them to make coffee — what a find!
The civet cat is very cute; I know because I’ve seen ’em;
But as for all those coffee beans, I sure do hope they clean ’em …
(Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

First runner-up:
Tessaraconter (TEStes-er-uh-KON-ter), an ancient galley ship with 40 banks of oars
A tessaraconter from dreamland drew near—
A galley of emerald green.
’Twas a sight to behold, filled with crystal and gold
And sails of a silvery sheen.
The oarsmen plashed through the gossamer sea
While moonbeams danced lively and fleeting;
Then winkin’ and blinkin’, old Donald woke up
In the midst of a Cabinet meeting.
(Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md.)

And the winner of the crocodile socks:
Teraglin (te-RAG-lin), an Australian food fish
The Australian teraglin may flee
From a tanglier net in the sea.
If relating this clears any doubts,
They are croakers with triangle snouts
And integral, crescentiform tails.
I’m alerting you; notice the scales
That are purple and blue near the top.
(Done with altering words, so I’ll stop.)
(Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Bee’s Whacks: Honorable mentions
Cour d’honneur (koor doh-NUR), a three-sided ceremonial courtyard in front of a grand building
You want to build a monument to show you are the greatest!
The East Wing, and the massive “Arc de Trump,” to name the latest.
Perhaps you’ll want a golden bust of you aside Abe Lincoln —
But there may be a place more apropos, so I am thinkin’
Let’s build a cour d’honneur to honor eight years of presiding!
(And add it to the prison where one day you’ll be residing.)
(Rob Cohen, Potomac, Md.)

A catometope (marine crustacean),
Unlike the leader of our nation,
Lacks fake hair and mushroom penis,
Although it is a stable genus. (Jonathan Paul)

Paroemia (paro-EE-mia), a rhetorical proverb or adage
A software guy out in Bohemia
Hawked an app with a daily paroemia.
Yet soon did I see:
Though the first words were free,
For the rest, it said “Upgrade to premia.”
(Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Bylina (bih-LEE-nuh), a traditional East Slavic oral epic poem or heroic narrative
Atop his horse with shirtless chest,
The leader preens to look his best,
With vanity and feral eyes —
Don’t cross him, or it’s your demise!
Whoever writes this man’s bylina
Had best omit the tiny weena. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Cara sposa (KAH-ruh SPOH-za), Italian phrase meaning “dear wife”
I lost my cara sposa.
I couldn’t be morosa.
(Michael Stein, Arlington, Va.)

Ainhum (eye-NYOOM), a tropical disease that can result results in toes falling off
Ernest Hemingway, master of prose,
Wrote great novels that everyone knows.
Less renowned, I presume,
Is my tome on ainhum,
Which is titled “A Farewell to Toes.”
(Jesse Frankovich, Laingsburg, Mich.)

Sondeli (son-DEH-li), the musk shrew of India, known for its strong scent
They say the sondeli
Is known to be smelly.
I wonder who claimed it?
(Could Shakespeare have tamed it?)
(Beverley Sharp)

Histidinemia (HIS-tih-dih-NEE-mee-uh), a metabolic disorder
Higgledy piggledy,
Histidinemia,
Marked by the lack of an
Enzyme in blood.
Patients may live with it
Asymptomatically,
Making this malady
Kind of a dud.
(Jeff Contompasis)

Taurokathapsia (TAW-roh-kuh-THAP-see-uh), an ancient Minoan sport in which a
performer grasps the horns of a bull and somersaults over it
In Minos, each taurokathapsia player
Began by reciting this bull-leaper’s prayer:
“Keep my scrotum intact and not punctured or torn
With my testicles draped on a taurus’s horn.”
(Chris Doyle, Warminster, Pa.)

Hwyl (pronounced variously “hyool,” “hoil,” and “whee-ul”), a Welsh term for joy or emotional fervency
“Iwan, what could be causing your hwyl?
Explain what is giving it fwyl.”
“It is just that we rock
Here in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
We are awesome, bodacious! We rwyl!” (Duncan Stevens)

Cashaw (kuh-SHAW), a crookneck winter squash
Once upon a late September, while I struggled to remember
The names of many a quaint and curious squash I’d gotten from the store,
While I pondered in my haven, suddenly there came a raven
That I hoped might be a maven of all gourd-related lore.
“Tell me what this crookneck’s called,” I humbly asked that bird I saw.
Quoth the raven, “Cashaw! Cashaw!” (Jesse Frankovich)

Igdyr, a remote settlement or geographical locale in central Asia
I do not give a flying fig, dear —
We’re not moving to your Baba’s igdyr.
(Kevin Dopart, Washington, D.C.)

Ophir (OH-fer), a biblical port famed for its wealth
If Trump reads the Bible
He’s possibly liable
To learn of the treasures of Ophir,
With its gold and its riches
Plus real estate which is
An asset he’d certainly go f’r. (Jonathan Paul)

Tsine (syne), a banteng, a wild ox native to Southeast Asia
Lost in the jungle and starving,
I craved a juicy steak,
or a rump roast ready for carving,
or a burger and a shake.
Hundreds of miles from the nearest Whopper
I prayed for a rescue divine.
Wait, look there!— no, not a chopper,
But— praise be! —God tsent me a tsine.”
(Daniel Galef, Cincinnati)

Wachna (WAHK-nuh), a type of Arctic cod
A chef once took wachna fillets
And topped them with bubblegum glaze,
Which you’d probably think
Is a dish that would stink —
But cod works in mysterious ways.
(Jesse Frankovich)

Flaith (flah), an Irish prince or chieftain
Our chieftain is by all revered —
No, not a guru, not a shaman.
Does he at times start acting weird?
Well, you’d expect that from a Flaith Man.
(Duncan Stevens)

Potto, a small primate native to African rainforests
The vegan potluck’s in the books,
And man, I got some stormy looks!
A typo made my dish invalid:
I seems I made a potto salad. (Duncan Stevens)

Carreta (kuh-RET-uh): a two-wheeled cart pulled by oxen
Putting on your shoes and then your socks
Is putting the carreta ’fore the ox. (Jesse Frankovich)

And Last:
I steer a carreta every Sunday
To my local farmers’ market,
And just like Gene, I hit other carretas
When I parallel-park it. (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Md.)

The headline “A Ha Bee of Ours” is by Jesse Frankovich; Jon Gearhart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead.
Note to Invitational fans: For obscure techie reasons, the Losers’ website, with all the archives and stats, has changed from nrars.org to nrars.net. (NRARS stands for the Not Ready for the Algonquin Roundtable Society.)

Still running — deadline Saturday, June 20, at 9 p.m. ET: It’s our contest for a riddle whose punchline is a series of rhyming words. Click on “read full story” below for details.

InvisibleInk!
Idea: ()
Examples: ()
Judging: ()
Title: (Jesse Frankovich)
Subhead: (Jon Gearhart)
Prize: ()
Add:H:1588: ()
VisibleInk!